Why I don’t like Summer

Today has been an unseasonably warm day. I don’t like warm days. Here’s why. The heat of an exceptionally hot night was one of the triggers for the seizure that caused Rich’s heart to stop. We always tried desperately to keep the bedroom cool, and he’d drink water throughout the night to stay hydrated, but it wasn’t enough. Once in ICU, after the paramedics had eventually managed to get his heart started again, fortunately there was air conditioning. But after a week, having been told that Rich would not be waking up, he was moved to the neurology ward, where all they had were portable fans, and keeping him cool became nigh on impossible. I’d move the fan as close to his face as the hospital bed would allow, give him a moist wipe bed bath twice a day, and make sure that damp cloths were always left on his forehead. I’d draw the curtains to keep the worse out of the sun out, and keep the window open so that there was some sort of breeze. I’d pull his blanket down to his feet, and make sure that his robe wasn’t clinging. Hell I even started taking ice packs from home in, and applying them wrapped in cloth to different parts of his body. And still I worried that he was feeling the heat. The doctors assured me that Rich would not have felt any discomfort, but my goodness, I felt it for him. We’ve always felt each others pain, physically and emotionally, and there was no way that I was taking any chances. So in case he could feel anything, I was going to do my damndest to make him as comfortable as possible. Every time the beads of sweat appeared though, I’d feel like I was failing, and I despaired. I tried Rich, I really did. I love you so much my darling, always and forever.

4 thoughts on “Why I don’t like Summer

  1. Herman

    I feel for you, Hayley. It must be very difficult for you, while most people enjoy warm weather and summer, it brings you hard and painful thoughts. I hope you can find some comfort in the beautiful memories of Rich and the time you shared together. You did your best, my friend.


  2. bazinga01

    Heartfelt. I know I never believed them when they reassure you about what pain people can feel. How can anyone know for sure? You took good care of him. K


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